time passing
by thisismargie
Summary: Time passed so quickly but time seemed to stop in that very moment, enough time for things to be mended. And then more time would pass.


_So I really ship SasuSaku but never fully understood how they got together at the end of the it all and felt like there were sooooooooo many things left unaddressed. I also didn't like the was Sakura was portrayed at the end, seemingly thrown together with a neglecting husband. And desperate for Sasuke's love more than anything. SO I just wrote this. It doesn't fix everything (not even close), but its set somewhere after the last fight, the night before Sasuke leaves. I just needed to feel better about everything so this is it I guess._

 _I appreciate reviews and stuff. Thx._

* * *

When Sasuke had showed up at her door, she thought about slamming it in his face. But he stood at her door, covering one of his eyes with his only arm.

"What do you _need_?" She scowled.

"Can I ask you to look at my eye?" He wasn't moved by her.

She shifted her weight to one foot, sighing. "What's up?"

He happy about admitting he couldn't see anything out of that eye. After debating whether or not she'd let him be blind for the rest of his life, she opened the door and let him into her home. She had him sit on the couch as she removed his hand from his face.

It was strange having him in her home. He'd never been to her house before when they were younger. She now had her own apartment. It was small and quaint and all the furniture matched (Ino made sure of that), and she hoped everyone who visited her was comfortable. She could care less what Sasuke thought of it right now.

"I'm going to place my hand over your eye, to relieve strain and feel around to see if there'd anything severely wrong." She sounded like she was talking to one of her child patients. He nodded. "You overused your Sharingan recently. What have you been doing?"

"… Sparring with Naruto."

"Idiots." She knew he was lying but she didn't feel like asking what he possibly could've been up to, not that'd he tell her anyway.

"There's nothing wrong with your eye. Just strain." She removed her hands from his face. "Can you see now?"

He opened his eyes and she saw a hint of a smile on his lips. "Yes."

"Then strain is confirmed."

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" She raised an eyebrow.

He sighed. "Itachi told me some side effects of the Mangekyo Sharingan."

"I've read about it. One of them is blindness. However, those aren't your eyes." She raised an eyebrow at him. "Right?"

"They're not."

"So, if I'm correct, blindness shouldn't be a problem anymore."

He sighed in relief.

"Anyway." She got up and walked towards the kitchen, stopping at a cabinet. When she opened it, it was stocked with herbs. "I have a special herb for you. I usually keep some here for Hinata and members of the Hyuga clan." She grabbed a small container from the top shelf and walked back toward the couch.

When Neji was still alive, and they were in the village, she always saved a special herb specifically for him and Hinata. With the war coming up, their Byakugan was a very important asset and eye strain was very frequent as their Byakugan was very strong. The village and allied forces very much relied on the two Hyuga, as well as the rest of the clan. Sakura made it a point to make sure that Neji and Hinata were taking proper care of their eyes, so she always went to the Valley of Judgement (usually with Naruto and Neji, for old time's sake) to collect those herbs on the regular. She hasn't been in a very long time. Not only did she not have time, but it didn't feel right going without Neji.

"The Sharingan is not the Byakugan," Sasuke said as she sat down beside him.

"No, but eye strain is eye strain." She handed him the container of leaves. "These will help. Boil some water, let these sit in there for a few minutes. Dip a cloth in the water and place it over your eyes every night. And do _not_ use your Sharingan."

"Thank you."

"No problem." She stood up. "Is that all?" She did mean to push him out the door.

He looked at her apologetically.

"Sakura, about what happened after that last fight."

"Please don't start-"

"Naruto told me you didn't believe a thing I said."

She mentally damned Naruto to every hell in existence. The last time she overworked herself at the hospital, she'd been avoiding Sasuke (to no avail since he showed up at her door tonight) and Naruto had seen right through her. She told him she didn't believe Sasuke knew what he was talking about and she hoped that he'd leave soon (tomorrow). Naruto said he would as soon as he got his prosthetic arm. She made it a point to remind Tsunade every day to get Sasuke that arm as soon as possible.

"What are you even sorry about?"

"Everythin-"

"Do you even know what everything is?"

She'd also explained to Naruto that Sasuke would never understand what he had to be sorry for.

"Sasuke, I want you to understand why I kind of can't stand to look at you right now. Why it's so painful to hear you say sorry. It's only sorry for what you can see that you caused, like the tears on my face every fucking time we saw you. Do you know what those tears meant?"

"… I figured you and Naruto hadn't seen me in a while. And you were emotional about the fact."

She had to seriously stop herself from punching him square in the face.

"God, you're so fucking _full_ of yourself."

"What do you mean? I thought the whole point was to bring me back. Not to sound like, for lack of a better word, an ass, but an entire village wanted me to return."

"SO YOU DIDN'T RUIN LIFE AS WE KNOW IT." His jaw clenched.

He literally swooped in and said 'I want to be Hokage' then proceeded to fight Naruto over his idea of a revolution. He needed to return to Konoha so someone like Naruto could knock some sense into him.

"Look, Naruto's happy you're back and everything and I'm happy for him but I honestly never wanted to see your face again. Yet here you are." Her lips twitched in anger and disgust.

"I thought you would have been happy about that."

She leaned in, her voice quieter. "Your return has unearthed some feelings I thought I'd never feel again. And none of them are feelings I'm particularly ecstatic to be feeling again."

"Sakura, I can just leave-" He started, obviously annoyed.

"No." She shot up and he was noticeably surprised. This was the first time she's ever had Sasuke to herself, in the position to make him listen. She was going to take the opportunity to do just that. "I've had to listen to you rant about revolution and killing us and all that shit so now listen to me." She pointed her finger at him as he leaned back into the couch. "Do you know how much you mean to me?"

His face stayed emotionless but his eyes followed her as she paced back and forth.

"When it comes to Naruto, when he chases after you, when he literally is going to die for you, you can't believe anyone could go that far for you. That someone is willing to throw their life away for you. You mean the world to him. Really, you do. But here's the problem:

Every time I told you I loved you, you took it for face value. You thought all I wanted was reciprocated feelings. All I wanted was for you to say you loved me, too. All I wanted was to be your wife. You thought I was desperate. Did you ever think that maybe it was beyond that?"

"There was nothing you could've done." She bit the inside of her cheek before she spoke again. She had that to him before herself.

"I told you I knew I couldn't do anything. I knew I couldn't be there for you the way your brother or your family were. I knew I couldn't bring back your clan. I knew I couldn't get revenge for you. I knew I couldn't take all the pain and suffering away. But I still would've tried. I would've tried my damned hardest to do whatever it was to make you happy. "

"Sakura, that wasn't going to make me fall-" In love with you. How selfish.

"Fuck you, you think I did any of this out of desperation for me? It was all for you! I was desperate for your life, your future. Shit, Naruto was just as crazy about it as I was if not more! I spewed any form of bullshit I could, trying to help out because my actions simply weren't enough. Wedding plans, kids, key to the fucking universe. Anything. And sitting around doing nothing was against everything I knew." She stopped pacing and looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears. She wanted to see her anger, but tears were never a clear sign of anything other than sadness.

"I wanted you to be okay and happy and loved even if it wasn't… me. I just wanted you to know that your hate and rage weren't the only options. That there was another way. If you had just came back home."

She saw his face soften and she looked away, not believing that she may have just got through to him. It'd be stupid to believe so, as he's clearly dismissed every attempt at her trying to. But the way he was looking at her gave her the slightest bit of hope. So she kept going.

"I never went to bed sad that you didn't love me back. I went to bed sad because that I knew I couldn't save you. I went to be sad because you would always see me as that weak twelve year old you left on a bench. You thought you crushed my heart. But all you did was set me up for a never ending battle with myself, asking if I was good enough or skilled enough to save you. That was all I wanted. You have the renowned Sharingan and couldn't see past my bullshit pleas, couldn't see all I did to try save you.

And even still, I didn't do it, Naruto did. He always… it'd always be him."

She let one tear escape as she sat on the floor. She had never been the one for the job. Naruto had always been more capable. And so she counted this as maybe the biggest failure in her life. The floor seemed like the best place to be. She didn't want to sit next to him on the couch but she didn't want to hold herself up any longer either.

She was surprised when Sasuke got up and sat with her on the floor.

"So Kakashi was right."

He voice was small, understanding. She still wouldn't look at him, though, not in this state.

"… yes."

"You heard what he said, back before me and Naruto fought?"

"I heard everything."

"I meant what I said."

She wiped a stray tear. "I know."

"I was wrong, though."

She glanced up at him.

"Damn right."

"Then please accept my apology. Sakura."

His words were sincere. As they were the first time. As all his apologies were and would be. 'Sasuke has never been one to say things he didn't think needed to be said' Naruto had told her.

"I was so full of that rage and hate. I couldn't see past it. And I sincerely thought there was no other way for me, my brother, my clan. I thought that was what needed to be done. "

He was no longer the cold and stoic Uchiha she was used to. She even thought she'd heard his voice crack. She noticed his shoulders slumped, leaning on his one good arm. He didn't hide the faces he made or reactions to his own words. He was human. He was here.

"We tried to suck all the bad out of your life and we couldn't. That was something you needed to figure out for yourself, purge yourself of and I get that… But you decided that our weaknesses were our lack of hate. My weakness was my lack of hate for you. But where I lacked hate I had love and happiness and hope and everything else in between."

She smiled, recounting times where she thought everything had gone to shit and she thought she or another loved one was going to die. She thought about the times where she and Naruto leaned against each other under trees with no energy and seemingly no hope but one of them (almost always Naruto) found something inside them, some reason to keep fighting the good fight. _We were shinobi._ Hope and their village's will of fire was all that they, as well as all their friends, could count on sometimes.

"You and Naruto. You both never lost any of that. For me. For anyone. Anything."

"It's what kept us going, you know? Throughout everything."

"I told Naruto I was jealous, being able to be the way he was despite not having anyone for a very long time. I couldn't find one way to be happy my entire life. But Naruto, and you, have managed to stay happy and _sane_."

She smiled and looked at him, this time a small smile on his face, too. "We had to. How could the future Hokage and the Hokage's apprentice lose hope?"

"I can't argue."

She couldn't hold back an apology. "I'm sorry for going off on you tonight."

He shook his head. "No, you had every right."

"It was selfish."

"It was how you felt."

"I could've just dropped everything, you know? "

"Naruto didn't."

She looked away. "I blame myself for that. That first 'rescue mission'." She made quotation signs with her fingers. "I made him promise he'd bring you back."

"And he never goes back on his word." Sasuke chuckled. "His ninja way."

Sakura laughed and almost cried at the same time. She'd always hold herself accountable for that mission (and failure, even more than Shikamaru). She didn't think once about what she would put Naruto through when she made him promise. And when Sai had said it was her fault, she knew he was right.

"Sakura. He would've come after me no matter what."

"But maybe he wouldn't have pushed himself so hard."

He stretched his one arm to lay his hand on top of hers. "He would've done whatever it took either way."

She didn't get butterflies when his hand touched hers. But she did feel something warm in her heart and she was happy. This was a strange Sasuke. He was trying. He was thinking.

"And Sakura. This is a bit late but, you have grown tremendously strong."

"Sasuke…" The warmth in her heart continued to spread throughout her chest.

"When I saw you fight during the war, I was honestly taken aback. You cracked the ground right under me with one punch." He laughed when she rolled her eyes. "I was scared."

"That was nothing," she joked.

"But you have also become one of the best medics known to shinobi. That in itself is a feat. You've surpassed your mentor." He sat back in awe. "How did you manage to get her to mentor you?"

She sat up a little straighter, taking pride in learning under such a formidable force."After you left, I vowed to get stronger and I demanded she take me under her wing."

"How bold."

"I try."

They looked at each other for a while, trying to figure out what the other was thinking. Sakura hoped he'd say something because she seriously didn't know where to go from here.

"I never really did hate you, Sakura."

"You almost killed me. Two or three times now."

His face fell and she wanted to tell him it was a joke but the more she thought about it, it wasn't.

"I always cared for you. I did appreciate your efforts."

"That's nice." She leaned back onto her hands. "Never looked like it."

One side of his mouth curled up into a half-smile. "I'd like to make sure you never feel that way again. Like I don't care."

She almost choked on air. "Woah, that's something I never in a million years would've imagined coming out of your mouth."

"I'm serious. None of this would be without your efforts."

She smiled. "None of what?"

"Me. Naruto. Team Seven. All of those patients you've helped. I've noticed. Everyone has."

"I was just doing my job."

"An amazing job." He looked right into her eyes as he said it, Sakura's doubt being lifted off her shoulders. She hadn't felt this light in a very long time.

"Thank you." She almost whispered it.

* * *

He left her house that night after a few more hours of talking about Naruto and the village and Tsunade. When she woke up, it was a strange feeling. There was no weight. There was no heaviness this morning, something she was very used to. She was free.

She got dressed and ready. She was supposed to meet with Kakashi this morning. She thought about the previous night's conversation and reflected on the amount of time that had passed. He showed up maybe a few minutes after she'd come home from the hospital, a little early. And he'd left when Konoha was silent. He'd been at her house for a long time but it seemed like nothing at all.

And she didn't once try to relieve him of his troubles. That's all she had talked about the night before. And he'd managed to help her before she could help him.

She immediately ran out of the house in search of him. She needed to thank him or help him or _something._ She would not let him leave without trying again.

Kakashi stopped her from running into a pole by appearing in front of her. He explained Sasuke would be meeting Naruto at the front gate so they'd get there a little earlier. When they got there Sasuke had just showed up as well. She ran to meet him.

"Hello, Sakura." He greeted her happily, a greeting she'd thought she'd receive. She would've blushed before.

"Sasuke. Let me apologize one last time. For yesterday."

"We've been through thi-"

"No. All I did was talk about me, and a burden was lifted off my shoulders. But I didn't give you the chance. I didn't help you last night. Again." She broke eye contact with him feeling ashamed.

He moved closer to her. "No, Sakura. I needed to know that when I came back again, you'd be happy to see me. My burden was lifted. One of them." She looked up at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm leaving the village on a journey."

He told her that he needed to see the state the world was in right now to put everything in perspective, and he'd be okay without his arm until he came back. These were the things he missed, the things he needed to see now that his head was clear(er). He needed to get things off his mind.

She thought it was crazy at first, asking him if she could join him. She instantly regretted it when it came out of her mouth. But he didn't say "no". He told her he needed to redeem himself and that his sins had nothing to do with her. While that bothered her for a moment, she knew and understood. And that's when he did it.

He tapped her forehead and smiled. He'd give her a chance. Maybe not today or for a very long time. But he would let her. He would be happy to.

"I'll see you soon."

And that was a promise. And she'd be waiting.


End file.
